admin- One word – pants. You definitely want to wear pants when you go to a bank asking for a loan. It’s pretty much a rule. They don’t lend money to people who show up at the bank without pants.
- Shirt and tie – If you really want to leave a lasting impression, try wearing a shirt and tie. Something about a shirt and tie makes banks think you’re more likely to give them their money back. Make sure, however, you wear a collared shirt. Nothing says crazy like a tie worn with a t-shirt.
- You Don’t Need The Money – Try to give the impression that you don’t need the money you are asking them to lend you. I know that doesn’t make much sense, but banks are particularly fond of lending money to people who don’t need it. So give them that impression. Some suggestions include: lighting a cigar with a $5 bill. Blowing your nose on money and throwing it away; reaching into your pocket and letting money drop all over the place – then not even bothering to pick it up. You might also casually work into the conversation that you only have a few minutes because your chauffeur is sitting outside in your Bentley, which is double-parked.
- Try To Find The Worst Bank Possible – Banks are just like other businesses. Some are good at what they do and others are not. You are looking for one that is not. Why? Because successful banks make money by enforcing strict regulations and making sure that all borrowers are qualified. Bad banks, however, don’t make a lot of money because they make bad decisions – like agreeing to lend people like you money. You’re mission is to find the very worst bank you can find. Some indications that you are in a bad bank include: run down building, vacant-eyed employees who can’t answer even the most basic questions and managers who wear clip-on ties. One additional benefit of a bad bank is that, at some point, it might go out of business and lose your records, thereby ensuring that you don’t have to pay them back at all. Given all of the above, it’s hard to understand why anyone goes to a well-run bank.
- Try to Get There Just Before They Close – If you have followed the steps outlined above and found a truly dreadful bank, then you’re goal is to approach them five minutes before closing. In such event, your loan officer will undoubtedly be disinterested and just want to go home. That should ensure that they cut as many corners as possible. Remember to answer their questions as slowly as possible. At some point, they should just give up and approve your loan.
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